I’ve been sitting here churning an ulcer for over 8 years since that garbage man was first elected. I ducked my head in the sand, turned off the news and had to take a long mental health break from the nonstop circus clown car crash just to stay sane. Then basic Biden helped me dive back in only to be more disappointed with the do nothing democrats. My ulcer churns on.

As we get closer to D-Day, I find myself watching a lot of FDR documentaries, docudramas, and whatever I can mine the streamers for in the way of feel goodness in the world where someone, somewhere is doing something to move the needle forward. Sometimes that’s Scottish Farming shows (I see you BBC Landward), or Showtime’s The First Lady (Gillian Anderson deserved the Emmy) and more often than not it’s just Antiques Roadshow.

But regarding the former, I recognize it’s a docudrama; which often puts more emphasis on the drama than reality, but I legit cried when Franklin confronted Nel about her affair with Hick. Franklin was heartbroken, but he still acted like a strong, supportive and hugely decent man. He gave his wife her lover, with permission, and even gave her a position in the administration. Something about this scene broke the dam for me. It felt like witnessing decency and grace and maturity in the most powerful man in the land was a salve I didn’t realize I needed.

For so long we’ve been subjected to being pushed further and further back to a place of rejection, indecency, hell… the dark ages. You forget how good Obama was when you pit his actions against…well almost anyone else’s. I forgot how good it could be. I forgot how safety and inclusion and being seen feels. We’ve been in the dark ages since 2016 really, and my body couldn’t take it anymore.

As a middle-aged hormonal woman I fully admit crying in the kitchen over a Keifer Sutherland FDR scene on Showtime was probably more chemical than emotional, but it wasn’t benign either. I have been so outraged for so long that I had to put a cork in it before I exploded. I just forgot to take the cork out because it still felt unsafe to do so.

Well, no more. Anyone who knows me well know that I have never been quiet about anything. I have always felt that if I had the courage to speak up, to take a risk, I could accomplish something. Even if I don’t do anything of huge consequence, I cannot stay silent anymore. The most important accomplishment I can make, is to thine own self be true.

So, I will use the platform I started a few years ago and begin back here. Together, let’s find a way through it.