The Way Through It

Therapy Through Writing

8:51 pm - January 15, 2025 -

Home Insurance Solved

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I live in California, but I’ve never owned a home. In my mid-forties I’m desperate to get out of renting a property I love but cannot alter in ways I would like.

But purchasing a property in California has so many barriers to entry. Cost being the top hurdle, but I’ve recently begun to truly realize what a nightmare home insurance would be. With the LA fire leveling high end homes in the Pacific Palisades, and my desire to live in an wildlife-urban interface in the Sierra foothills, I doubt I’ll be able to get private insurance at all.

The state has jumped in with the FAIR plan but it’s woefully inadequate and uber expensive. No wonder Californian’s are fleeing the state. I have contemplated the same, but the reality is everywhere has limitations. My partner has put the kibosh on relocating anywhere that floods. But fire we understand. We understand how to mitigate risk to our property, and how to navigate local bureaucracy to get wider community prevention measures taken.

However, there’s nothing we can do about private insurance companies making a run for it, leaving us in the lurch. I propose a compulsory insurance scheme nationwide. Every renter, homeowner and building must have basic insurance to cover, at minimum, civil liability (damage to third parties and property) and any building renovation or construction must have insurance. If you add in all the renters, and homeowners who no longer owe on a mortgage who may have dropped the required insurance, perhaps the insurance industry would be salvaged?

Either that, or the federal government creates a nationalized insurance scheme for climate related disasters; which arguably will become more frequent in the coming years. Perhaps electing to pay into the national scheme at tax time, with basic coverage for extreme calamity, coupled with supplemental insurance from private companies, we can stop the bleeding. Both policies would have to complement each other and neither could be cost prohibitive. If people pay for two policies then it would need to be worth it, and easy enough to file claims.

If disasters are expected in various parts of the country, then a collective pool of premiums across the nation might alleviate the exclusion of one region for another, safer risk.

I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford a mortgage and homeowner’s insurance in the future. I’m terrified I’ll get dropped just before a disaster and my investment gone. Much like many in Los Angeles right now…

I’m curious to hear about experiences with insurance companies, the CA FAIR plan and/or victims of disaster.

My heart is with you all.

Categories: Home Ownership, Uncategorized Tags: , , , ,
1:28 am - December 19, 2024 -

Silent No More

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I’ve been sitting here churning an ulcer for over 8 years since that garbage man was first elected. I ducked my head in the sand, turned off the news and had to take a long mental health break from the nonstop circus clown car crash just to stay sane. Then basic Biden helped me dive back in only to be more disappointed with the do nothing democrats. My ulcer churns on.

As we get closer to D-Day, I find myself watching a lot of FDR documentaries, docudramas, and whatever I can mine the streamers for in the way of feel goodness in the world where someone, somewhere is doing something to move the needle forward. Sometimes that’s Scottish Farming shows (I see you BBC Landward), or Showtime’s The First Lady (Gillian Anderson deserved the Emmy) and more often than not it’s just Antiques Roadshow.

But regarding the former, I recognize it’s a docudrama; which often puts more emphasis on the drama than reality, but I legit cried when Franklin confronted Nel about her affair with Hick. Franklin was heartbroken, but he still acted like a strong, supportive and hugely decent man. He gave his wife her lover, with permission, and even gave her a position in the administration. Something about this scene broke the dam for me. It felt like witnessing decency and grace and maturity in the most powerful man in the land was a salve I didn’t realize I needed.

For so long we’ve been subjected to being pushed further and further back to a place of rejection, indecency, hell… the dark ages. You forget how good Obama was when you pit his actions against…well almost anyone else’s. I forgot how good it could be. I forgot how safety and inclusion and being seen feels. We’ve been in the dark ages since 2016 really, and my body couldn’t take it anymore.

As a middle-aged hormonal woman I fully admit crying in the kitchen over a Keifer Sutherland FDR scene on Showtime was probably more chemical than emotional, but it wasn’t benign either. I have been so outraged for so long that I had to put a cork in it before I exploded. I just forgot to take the cork out because it still felt unsafe to do so.

Well, no more. Anyone who knows me well know that I have never been quiet about anything. I have always felt that if I had the courage to speak up, to take a risk, I could accomplish something. Even if I don’t do anything of huge consequence, I cannot stay silent anymore. The most important accomplishment I can make, is to thine own self be true.

So, I will use the platform I started a few years ago and begin back here. Together, let’s find a way through it.

Categories: Politics, Uncategorized Tags:
1:59 pm - March 11, 2020 -

Climbing to the Top

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They say that silence is golden. Perhaps it is when all you want to say is how miserable you feel. I realize I’ve been silent for a long time, and it’s not that I don’t have anything to say, I just didn’t know how to say it. The purpose for this blog is to share life experiences and lessons so that humans can relate to each other and find a way through it together. It’s easy to get stuck in trying to wrap the moral up into a perfect bow and until you know the answers, sharing pain feels shameful and difficult. At any rate, winter is leaving and spring has sprung and today is my birthday! I think it’s time to get writing again…

It’s been over a year since I moved here to the Sierra foothills. I still don’t know if I like it here. Of course it’s beautiful, but it’s taken me longer to connect to this place than I had expected. In my 20’s I spent a semester in Humboldt County. My love of forests greatly expanded at the site of old growth redwoods. I didn’t know nature could make you feel like that. While there, I spent most of my time hiking than in class, but it was an education that continues to fuel and inform my soul. From there on, when I dreamed of “living in the woods” – I dreamt of coastal redwoods.

Now that I’ve been able to settle a little bit in my new wooded home, I would say this year has been a little less than euphoric. It’s actually been pretty brutal. Both the beauty and curse of living in nature, is that she is a beast and will always win. The remoteness and isolation of my location has taught me a lot about myself. The weather and mother nature’s wrath have certainly taught me to dig deep and find my true grit for survival. Life’s chores living out here are certainly more intense, and one is forced to learn how to find ongoing motivation without any accountability or encouragement from a partner or community.

Sure, it’s not always rainbows in paradise, but I exalt how fortunate I’ve been to be able to do this journey, and experience something most people cannot do until retirement. It is certainly harder than what I expected, as I was not counting on not being able to find a community here. I knew the people would be different, and that I would have to be open-minded, but the logistics of living in a retirement/vacationer community and being a younger full time working gal don’t really jive.

So, I watch a lot of Netflix and make a lot of sweaters and try to hike on weekends near Yosemite (the best part of living here!). Along my streaming journey I stumbled on a documentary about the history of rock climbing in Yosemite. The guys (and a few gals) who conquer their fears and contort their bodies into the tiniest of cracks and crimps to achieve a relentless goal for no real apparent reason except it feels good, has blown my mind. There is something about people who really push themselves (see: Free Solo) to be elite athletes in obscure sports that I find so inspiring. At a time when I feel achingly lonely and depressed sometimes, learning about what’s possible just down the road from me has offered the spark I needed to snap out of it.

I don’t know if I can actually do rock climbing, but at the very least it has inspired me to remember why I’m here. I came to conquer my fears, and to invest in my dreams of living in the woods in a sustainable house in a place that I love and feel hugged by nature every day. Going after your dreams is never easy, or everyone would do it. So I persist.

What breaks my long suffering silence now, on my 40th birthday, is that I realize that I cannot do it alone. My writing has always been a source of healing for me, so in the absence of an immediate community, I must write to share the good with the bad and to seek out help when it’s needed. Perhaps there is a little shame that goes along with making this big move and not wanting to fail and come home with my tail between my legs. However, I am reinvigorated by watching the climbers which reminds and inspires me to keep fighting for my end goals. I am a fighter, and I have always landed on my feet, even if my head is in the canopy of redwoods.

I have had some amazing support from friends and family alike, and regular visitors who keep me grounded and motivated. I feel I have made it through a tough winter with the lessons of strength and perseverance at my side. I’m here to tell you that if you go for it, the tools you need will come. It won’t be easy, but don’t give up. You’re bound to learn valuable things about yourself and your place in this world. At the very least, you will learn what it is you truly want out of life, and what you don’t.

I’ll see you in the woods!

Carlon Falls, Yosemite Wilderness
Category: Perseverance
3:16 am - July 3, 2019 -

Chicken and the Egg

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Do you ever jolt out of self-flagellation, and suddenly realize you’re being horribly mean to yourself? It happens to me often. Although sometimes it takes months for me to wake up and realize I’m in an abusive relationship with myself. These past months (since the Spring) I’ve felt incapable of getting off the couch. Of course, living in the wilds and with wonderful weather upon us, I usually wish I was outside, or at least willing to be.

Anxiety, depression, loneliness and insomnia currently rule the day (and night as it seems). All of this becomes a horribly paralyzing vicious cycle. I don’t feel like moving; so I beat myself up for being lazy; then I am depressed from the negative self-talk (unconsciously); so I no longer feel like moving; and then more negative lady bashing… and on it goes. Until I step out of the circle, I don’t realize it’s happening. I just feel bad, can’t really figure out why, so I eat and I don’t sleep.

The Solution

Something tells me I’m not the only person out there who experiences this from time to time. Usually, the way I dig myself out is to embark on a self-help journey. There are usually a lot of books, podcasts and YouTube videos involved. Somehow having an answer to my never ending quest to feel “better” ends up being a quest to be better. There is no right answer or a magic step that will fix me. The only fixing I need is to figure out how to be nicer to myself and perhaps slow down my mind and breathe.

Usually the answer is literally, just breathe.

I share this inner turmoil for one sole purpose: to help you, the reader feel less alone in whatever your struggles are too. This blog is an effort to create a circle of healing: I find healing through writing, perhaps you find healing in relating, and perhaps we can all share our stories together down in the comments. I’d love to build a community around writing, and sharing really. It’s all there is to it sometimes to find…a way through it.

The Plan

In the coming months I vow to post monthly at minimum. I’ve been blogging for over a decade and writing since I was a child. This is my new and improved site that I hope reaches folks who need to read something like this. Because I live in a remote area now, I find that social media platforms have been my saving grace in times of need. Let’s spread the love if you find this kind of thing moving and I promise to keep writing! Deal? Deal.

As I was writing this, I found myself jolted awake. I didn’t really have a topic in mind so sometimes I just start writing and see what happens. Suddenly I saw what’s been going on these past months. Boom. That is the power of writing for me. Getting my thoughts out of my head is often a great way to change my thought process. Someone once told me, if you’re going through a rough patch; find a way to change your head space. Usually, exercise is the easiest move as it actually changes your brain chemicals and releases serotonin, endorphins, and all those delightful free drugs our bodies make.

Cardio only makes me want to commit murder so writing for me is the ticket. Being out in nature helps a lot too. I enjoy hiking, swimming in lakes and generally being outdoors helps every day (I live in the woods). There can be a numbing effect though to surroundings alone. I am in a terribly beautiful place and yet still vehemently determined to start hundreds of crochet projects I’ll never finish. It’s just my way of trying to escape my current destructive thought cycle. As I’ve discovered a lot since moving here; the only way out, is in.

I’d love to hear your thoughts below! How do you get out of a negative head space?

Category: Self-flagellation