The Way Through It

Therapy Through Writing. Together, let's find a way through it.

Renewal

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Easter has never really been a particularly important holiday to me. The oppressive religious upbringing I had soured the enjoyment of waxy chocolate bunnies. The horrible tights, obnoxious hats and uncomfortable patent shoes I was forced to wear ruined my love of ham. So when friends were shocked I had not made any Easter plans this year, it dawned on me that I didn’t really care. However, it has occurred to me that Spring and Easter are a time of renewal. Growth. Shedding and cleaning out the closets and cobwebs to allow for new development.

In the space of not caring about getting together with family or treating myself to a special holiday meal, I realized that the process of letting go of the past has come to fruition. For the first time in my life, I don’t feel the need to please anyone, especially members of my family that I have had an unhealthy relationship with for years. For the first time in my life, I have decided to pursue what’s right for my life and my calling, regardless of the guilty feelings or obligatory pressure.

Letting go is not about harboring anger or resentment anymore. Letting go is about releasing yourself from the puppet strings of obligation and familial ties that bind you. The years I’ve spent hoping for a fun and exciting time with my family at these holiday get togethers were always dashed with drunkenness, judgment, fights and exclusion. After moving to the woods, and hibernating in the snowy winter darkness, I have emerged a bright new flower. I have blossomed into a bunny rabbit hopping along on my path.

Without the cords of connection keeping me tied to a toxic environment and relationships, I find myself blissfully happy that I did not have to dress up today. I am a free bird, ready to paint the pallet of my life with new scenery and people. Even for now, the pallet is still quite empty but in time a life will grow and bud and provide fruit for those who choose to stick around.

Sacrifices have been made in blood; and now a rebirth is allowed to rise and save the life I have left for this half of my existence. I release these old, tired wounds that have scarred and calloused my soul. Once a scar is healed, there is no point in re-opening the wound. Moving forward towards a more life-affirming experience is the choice I make now and the relief is so refreshing. The air is sweet, full of activity and buzzing and there is much to do.

Happy Vernal Equinox.

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